About me

have a complicated mind...i loathe myself at times, i hate many things.i hate being called stupid, yet at times i do feel stupid. i feel stupid mostly around other people, i do have insecurities but i don't deal with it, i just put up a fake smile, and everything seems back to normal. its funny how i grew up into someone i never thought i would become. i used to believe that i was strong and i would never allow anyone to step on me or belittle me in any way. but times have changed...i have changed...and i hate what i have become.i am a coward and i have no use of pride. i love my friends... i have become a loner and i would drive the feeling away in a deep slumber. i would curl up in my corner and i would close my eyes, i would let the time pass...then, i would never feel alone because in my dreams they are there with me...i have cried a sea of tears...yet, i never learn, why do i always feel worthless now?...i never felt that before...times have really changed...i hate hypocrites...yet, i myself, have become one...maybe i crave attention...shallow freak...i look at myself and i see a face drenched in tears and fear...ugly...distorted...is that all there is to me?...a face grows old, withers and dies...i am a fool.i am a puppet,surrounded by spectators...they await for my strings to entangle, and for i, to mess up...and they shall rejoice in my misery..

You don't know me or who I claim to be. You don't know my hell and what I've been through. You don't know me or how my heart aches. You don't know the pain I feel or how I came to be here.You don't know the things I've seen and the things I've felt, through the dark nights I've wept, you don't know that, see, you're blind to my pain and you think you know me but you have yet to find my mind and where my heart is buried. You think by looking at me you can tell but you are wrong cause through these eyes reality is blind and innocence is lost. How I wish I could go back in life and live things right but the past we can not change and regret only brings us closer to death. As I lay awake eyes open wide I cry for all the pain I've kept but you do not know that and as a person I just met you, you can't judge my depth because blood I bleed and air I breath and pain I see which makes me, me. You don't know me, so don't try to underestimate my understanding of things, remember we just met. For tomorrow is a new day and like today we will meet again and my face might be sweet but these eyes you will not recognize for you do not know me so keep that in mind when you chose to judge me.