crazy, stupid, love

We can't fight anymore, we're getting old. All my life i wanted to grow up and i wanted to grow older so people would take me seriously. It all sounded so good to me, growing up, getting a job, getting married but it's all a scam. Love that's the biggest scam of all. I was in love, and i know that's make some of u laugh but whatever. I was, and i used to think and really believe that there was one true love for everyone and if u fought hard enough for that person, your one true love would always work out. It's sounded good to me when i was younger but it just doesn't work that way.

Crying never seems to help...

I take all this pain...I put it in rhymes...Then you get the chance for the very first time. You get to feel the pain...there's stuff inside me...like all this hate...I don't know if I can handle...I don't know if I can carry this weight...I just want let go...I just want be free...it's time for all this hate...to finally leave me...You don't understand me and you never will. So don't start that shit 'bout knowing how I feel.

My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams. I'm hoping things will look up, and right when they do, there's always something to fuck it up, and we're back at square one. Do you know what it's like to be me? Go through something not everyone can see? Do you know what it's like to walk in my shoes? Please stop judging me simply because I'm not you...

Things are going crazy and I'm not sure who to blame. Everything is changing and I don't feel the same. I'm slipping through the cracks of floors I thought were strong. I'm trying to find a place where I feel like I belong. I think I'd do better on my own just me...alone. Sometimes I think it would be easier just to get a knife. I don't know what to do, I'm crying every night. It would just be easier if I was outta sight. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.

Give me a reason to keep believing that everything isn't misleading and kiss the clouds on the rainy days and smile for you when skies are grey. Cause I'm a tear drop away from crying and a few breaths away from dying. Maybe if I wasn't so good at pretending to be happy, I might learn to actually be happy. I just want a day to go by...when I'm not pretending to be happy.

I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the things on the inside. Why do I try not to cry, sometimes I think I could die. But when it comes out, I just want to shout, and scream and cry it all out. People think she's so strong...because she [pretends] nothing is wrong.

Behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words that go unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeating inside my head. Tears have come and tears have gone. My emotional torment still lives on. The scars right here upon my wrist, are what have helped me get through this. Have you ever just wanted to die...killing yourself and forget how you tried?

Don't be fooled by her smile, inside she's breaking... I just want end it all. Should I trip or should I fall. Wills someone be there to catch me when I'm falling to the ground, or will I be there forever lying there with no sound. Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy but at the same time you don't know exactly what is wrong either?

A strong girl keeps her stuff in line-and with tears running she still manages to spit the simple words "I'm fine."